#i feel like i'm not close to basically anyone

[lemotmo]

Yeah let's not do this for 3 months people. He's not leaving! We're at the beginning of Buddie!!!

Q. I'm so confused by all the excitement, and I admit that I struggle with facial awareness, but all we got was Eddie saying he's leaving so that feels way more like a Ryan exit than a beginning to Buddie. What did I miss?

A. Okay I'm going to say this once, and only once. We are not spending 3 months on a nonstarter spiral. Ryan is not leaving. It's not an exit story. It's the beginning of a feelings realization story, only Eddie hasn't quite arrived at the starting point for his part yet. Lots of people struggle with facial cues, anon, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's not an exit storyline. It's drama set up to kick start Buck's spiral and to bring Christopher home. That's why I loved that they had Buck on the couch and Eddie in the kitchen. The couch has kind of always been used to symbolize a romantic relationship between Buck and Eddie, both of them being home when they're on that couch, so putting Buck on the couch in that scene basically puts Buck in position. Buck has arrived at the start of his realization arc. The box has been opened (the box being his long unexamined feelings for Eddie) and he won't be able to put the lid back on it this time. The moment we see Buck have at the end of the episode was not his 'oh Eddie's my person' moment but it was the start of Buck's journey to that realization. Buck was devastated in that moment, but for the sake of Eddie, he attempted to fake enthusiasm. Eddie being happy means more to Buck than his fear of being left behind, again. But that fear will come out when the season returns in March. Tim basically confirmed that Buck will spiral and he will throw himself into a distraction to try and block his pain. That distraction will inevitably fail, as Tim also already spoiled (they learned their Tommy lesson and they won't be repeating it), and that will force Buck to once and for all have to confront and figure out why the thought of losing Eddie sends him spiraling. The end of the episode was the beginning of Buck's journey.

Eddie hasn't reached his starting point, yet. But having him in the kitchen, the other big Buddie room, was a way to show that he is close. Framing the shot the way they did, Eddie having a straight line of sight to Buck on the couch, was intentional. Eddie is close but he's not there yet. He's distracted by the whole Christopher thing, as he should be. Eddie won't be able to arrive at his starting point until he gets the Christopher situation settled. That entire scene was LOUD. Buck letting himself in using his key. Eddie not being able to look at Buck when talking about moving. The flirty way Buck asked what he was watching on the iPad, fully believing it was porn. And again the way the entire scene was framed and shot. The close up of Eddie's face when he realizes he's not alone in this moment and that he does have someone in his corner. Then the close up of Buck's face when he allows the mask of enthusiasm to slip and we see the real sadness that he is feeling. It was very clearly the beginning of their storyline. It was in no way shaped, framed or written as the beginning of an exit storyline. It's happening, anon. Let yourself enjoy the build up 💗

Thank you Nonny! Much appreciated!

YES to all that Ali talked about here! Let's be happy you guys. We are finally here after 7 very long years of ups and many downs. This is the first time we've actually gotten real confirmation that the Buddie slow burn is on!

Let's enjoy this break before the show comes back, because I anticipate a lot of drama in 8b. And once the show is back on? Let's just sit back, relax and watch Buddie's story unfold. It'll be glorious!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[lottepriant]

On My Model(s) of Hypnosis Safety - and Communication and Vulnerability

Essays pop out of my fingers when interesting people talk to me on Discord about hypnosis theory. Basically unedited.

I often say that the dangerous part of hypnosis isn't the hypnosis, it's the people. People are able to coerce others into doing things all the time: in small ways (giving money to a charity collector in the street), medium ways (upselling someone on a car), and huge ways (long-term coercive relationships.) Change is an inherent part of interacting with another person, and to interact with another person is accepting, inherently, that they are going to have - to some degree or another proportional to your willingness to be open and vulnerable, and to the length and depth of that interaction - some ability (consciously done or not) to change you, to introduce you to new ideas, and to modify your emotional and mental state.

That is, basically, what communication is. To speak is to act upon another - this isn't true during just hypnosis, but all the time.

The idea that we shouldn't talk about that, or that we should obfuscate that vulnerability, seems far more dangerous to me than the alternative. Particularly the idea that telling someone that they could be manipulated is a cognitohazard that will make them more vulnerable to it; people who don't know what to look for, people who don't know what's happening to them or how it works, are not capable of identifying dangerous situations or dynamics. I say dynamics because it usually that which is the "problem", because by far the most dangerous thing to do is be in a longer-term relationship with someone. Repeated exposure to someone, being willing to be open and vulnerable with them increasingly as it goes on, is... inherently risking getting hurt. Through malice - in the case of deliberate abuse - or through things that are no fault of anyone's, like relationship breakdowns or even hurting someone's feelings. This is a continuum, really, and builds over time with closeness and exposure.

There's an existential crisis that I, and quite a lot of other hypnosis-and-psychology-y people I know have had - about that first fact. The fact that every time we interact with someone we are acting upon them. "Is it even ethical to talk to anyone? Or have a friendship or relationship with someone?" (Me, 2019, when I first got into hypnosis and my brain was exploding about it.) These days, I'm a very effective communicator: in being a hypnotist, an educator, writer, speaker, and, well, in general. (Not that those things are in any way mutually distinct - hypnosis is on a continuum with the rest of human experience, but I digress.) The kicker to that little crisis was "if I'm learning to talk to people better, does that make it worse? Is it morally worse if I'm more effective?"

Overall, the resolution to this, for me, is:

Being collaborative. Conversation is a give or take, as are all relationships, and building something with the other person.

Respecting agency. Very related to the give or take - letting the other person act and be and take up space within an interaction.

Considering the well-being of the people you interact with. Whether it's a little interaction in the street, a play partner, or a long-term romantic partner - how do your interactions make them feel? Does it further their wellbeing? In the short-term? medium and long-terms?

Be skillful and aware. Understand what it is that you're doing and the impacts they are, and could have.

Own it when you fuck up.

...On the other side, because its not only true that when X interacts with Y, Y is being changed - X is also being changed as well. Which means I try to:

Examine how being around another person makes me feel. Am I actually enjoying talking to someone? Or spending time with them?

Work out whether things seem appropriately reciprocal, or whether it feels like I'm having to do all the work.

Are they working to try and paint me into corners by the situations and contexts they put me in?

Do I feel like I have the ability to say no? Do my choices feel free when e.g. they ask if I want to spend time with them, or play, or buy a car from them?

The latter points are the ones that are about safety in every sort of dynamic, and I think that information is all. I think that making people aware that they are, by virtue of being a person, going to be impacted in a lot of ways, so they can make informed choices with who and how they are vulnerable with people is the most important thing.

[delqcate]

my blog is basically a ghost town so like the pick me i think i am i'm gonna rant 😋

[anothermonikan]

I see a lot of sentiment within techum spaces about not understanding how tech actually works and considering tech divine or whatever and like. I really do get it's pretty intimidating, but you can learn how your machines work. In fact I think a lot of you would appreciate your objects even more than you do by learning about how they actually function. Demystify tech in your minds NOW!!!

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

[self-shipper-snowdrop]

I am in the airport heading back from vacation why do I see notifs for comments asking me to DM them

[nilesmoon]

infinite wealth if sawashiro said "who gives a shit about ebina im going to hawaii with ichi" and then the rest of the game is a family vacation

[mossbabie]

⏰

[jewishbuckley]

"was there a reason you didn't cancel this" honestly I thought I had so no there wasn't a reason but also if clients are going to have Your personal number and reach out to You about canceling (when they Should be reaching out via email per our cancelation policy) then You should be canceling the appt anyway imo. all the other trainers cancel their appointments AND add their appointments to the system 🤪

[practically-an-x-man]

I never realize how unevenly pigmented my skin is until someone has to put me in makeup lol

[letbuckfuck]

.

[louderfade]

exene talking about the state of the world. the good stuff starts at eight minutes. or you can just read the transcript complete with the usual errors that accompany robot transcribed speech (the irony of which is not lost on me). maybe it's not about transhumanism and living forever (or maybe it is who knows), but there's definitely an agenda of surveillance and control at work which is designed to keep the powerful in power. cash rules everything around me and you will own nothing etc. the future is worse.

[essektheylyss]

.

[eggmeralda]

can you get burnout from doing nothing

[grimandghoulish]

.

[binoculares]

feel like i'm constantly between the urgent need to conect with everyone and feel loved and needed and the deep deep boredom i have with everyone elses business. good for you or sorry that happended.